It's Sunday evening, and I find my thoughts wandering to reflection and introspection, and in a good way I might add. My life has been rich, colourful and varied and I would change very little about it, which is a real gift to know and to be able to say. I think all of this 'dreaming' came about it because I have found myself a little off balance (physically) for the last few days, I couldn't hold any of the balance postures in my yoga classes, and then I actually fell quite badly yesterday too, and so I began to dig into why I may be feeling that way (it wasn't a conscious thing). In doing so I began to drift into contemplating relationship - with the self and with others, and then to sexuality, one of my favourite topics! Now, when it comes to sexuality, it's fair to say that this is a path I have explored in great depth in my life in one way or another, some healthy, others less so, but all taught me a great deal about sex, sexuality and sexual expression. One thing I know for sure is that what we are being taught about it is severely lacking in heart, soul and health, and when I say health I mean mental and emotional more than physical here - It seems our options are as follows:
But neither of these options look very real to me! There are either false ideals that we can rarely live up to, or unrealistic airbrushed images of good looking, 'perfect' couples with no wobbly bits, wrinkles or messy scars, and let's be honest, most of us have those. If any of you know of Celeste Barber's hilarious Instagram account, the truth is usually more like many of those images she so cleverly dissects and re-constructs. Check her out if you haven't already, I'm sure you will identify with many of the pictures and most likely they'll make you laugh out loud too. That's your Sunday sorted then!
So, in general in my experience, I have found that men tend to learn about sex through porn, and women through our mates unless we were lucky enough to have open, free-spirited hippy parents. My own journey took me through open and closed relationships, kink and fetish, BDSM, sex work, sexual freedom activism, hetero and bi-sexual exploring, vanilla one to one, and much more, and whilst monogamy seems to be my thing, I don't judge those for whom that is not their truth. In fact I applaud anyone courageous enough to speak their truth when it flies in the face of hetero-normative rules and expectations. Sex seems to occupy many of my recent thoughts, and is currently re-surfacing in my personal enquiry as I consider dating and what that means to me. It also popped up as I was lucky enough to go and volunteer recently at the very cool Sexhibition event organised by several people I know, and when there, it plugged me right back in to a missing part of myself, the part that likes to have fun, explore and feel uninhibited in doing so; the kinky part!
I've been writing a blog for many years about sexual freedom - what it is and what is isn't. I've not added much for a while, I've been otherwise engaged, but this much I know...people get jittery talking about sex; they get confused. People think sexual freedom means carte blanche to do anything - it doesn't! Adult informed consent is ALWAYS key, but that's assuming we even get the opportunity to know what we are consenting to and actually allow ourselves to enjoy it! Sex can be a scary, fearful, guilt and shame riddled place, or it can be a magical connection that transcends the ordinary and takes us to very cosmic places of deep and pure love, not Mills & Boon love, but love as in the truth of the pure essence and vibration of the feeling, to be fully present in the now and to have the courage to be vulnerable and to be met.
If you would ike the opportunity to shake off some of those stories, to come and share, to talk, ask questions and learn to change your relationship with your sexual identity and energy, please come and join us for this one day women only event. Sarah Rose Bright is an experienced sexuality educator and tantra teacher, and Steph Magenta (me!) is a transformative life coach and energy anatomy healer (amongst other things) and together, our depth of knowledge in this area is pretty vast. Our dream is to have you leave letting go of some of that shame, those fears and those limitations and instead feel a sense of possibility and excitement about who you can be in your own true expression of your sexuality. Please message me for more information - love and pleasure, Steph xx
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