...but there is freedom waiting on the other side.
I've just landed from what I can sincerely describe as two of the most intense weeks of my life. I am in part, quite a large part it seems, undone!
Over the two weeks I was away on the beautiful island of Ibiza, I learned a lot about myself. I saw my unrecognised wisdom, I saw how and where I have not claimed my authority, I saw my shadow and my vulnerability and I saw patterns that I have never realised I'd passed down to my own children in learning them from my parents before me, and I welcome it all.
I was in Ibiza to graduate as a breathwork facilitator with the Alchemy Of Breath, a school of breathwork I am proud to be connected to and in whose name I work. This whole journey has been a process of self discovery on much deeper levels than I could ever have imagined when starting to breathe consciously a couple of years ago.
You may wonder what all the fuss is about - we breathe every day right? Wrong! We breathe but we don't breathe well; we fail to breathe deeply into the essence of our being, and when we do, wow...everything changes, and I mean everything!
I have seen people fall apart, break their hearts and souls wide open, weep a million unshed tears, scream and rage for all that went unexpressed, laugh manically in deep knowing of truth and curl up into corners of their deepest vulnerability, and I've seen all of that being held in pure love. I've held all of that myself in this essence of love as a witness, a supporter and as a facilitator. It's extremely humbling to see humanity laid out like this before you. Walk with diamonds on the soles of your feet and the breath of the butterfly if you're ever blessed to witness or experience this work - I believe we owe each other this grace for the human soul is delicate and mighty at the same time.
As human beings, we walk a many faceted journey through this life. For some, it's as much as we can do to stay here, to commit to living, to feel and to just allow ourselves to be enough. For others, it may be easier in some ways, but one thing I have learnt for sure is that we all have our vulnerabilities, those tender places inside of us that need to be held and seen through the eyes of love.
When I began my training, motivated by a profound and utterly unexpected experience of this conscious connected breathing technique whilst on holiday in Bali last year, I didn't expect it to take me where it has, both internally in my emotional and mental landscape/s or externally in the physical world too.
My teacher is one of the most loving and transparent men I've ever met in my entire life. He works from a place of unconditional love, a commitment to conscious communication and a presence that changes many, many people's lives simply in the act of being himself; he is what I consider to be a 'safe' man and a steady harbour in which to land. He's worked hard to get to that place, and this commitment to self awareness shines through in everything he is and everything he does. He would shy from this adoration, but I'm saying it anyway!
So back to the unlearning - as children we are born in pure essence. Our imprinting begins at a young age, where we are powerless to do anything beyond receive those imprints really because 1). we are too small to know any different and 2). we don't have the understanding to question it whilst so young, so we grow up believing that these messages are 'true'; messages about ourselves and about the world around us, but they're not true, they are simply a reflection of those people's experiences and their own conditioning.
Unlearning takes time, effort and integration. INTEGRATION is key! I see so many doing this deep work, perhaps with the breath, or with plant medicines, or other healing modalities and simply not giving themselves the time necessary to integrate all that has been felt, therefore repeating ad infinitum the stories that reveal themselves. I have landed from this two week journey feeling completely undone, and I'm glad I'm 'undone'! I'm glad because I know that this mining into my soul's landscape is what heals me if I can sit with it, reflect on it, and be with it.
Take the time you need to integrate from your experiences whatever they are. Stay present to yourself and your true feelings, tune into your felt sense and allow it the space to land, and seek out those who support you in changing yourself. We're unused to stillness in this fast-moving day and age, but it's crucial to drop into it deeply if we are to really create true health and healing.
Alchemy - The transmutation of matter, the seeking of a universal elixir, the conversion of lead into gold.
Discover your very own personal alchemy and watch as your life becomes authentic, beautiful, inspired and free, and remember to always gift yourself time for integration to take place.
With so much love - Steph xox
CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
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